Mad World

I am sad.

I dont know what i'm doing anymore

Help

An assumption is a proposition that is taken for granted, as if it were true based upon presupposition without preponderance of the facts.

SO CAN YOU FUCKHEADS STOP ASSUMING THINGS.
IF YOU HAVE A FUCKING PROBLEM SAY IT, OR AT LEAST CONFIRM IT.

What happens when all your feelings are just bottled up

And no matter what you do it doesn't seem to change

All that happens is that it gets stuck, somewhere

I just wanna feel normal again

Just emotions, not this feeling of emptiness

Cause....

i just dont want to be empty

I am clueless about what i have to do.

I just want to take a break.

Let things go easy.

Yes, i know you can never get everything you want.

But sometimes, its all you really want

I've changed.

And i dont need to look twice to notice it.

Friends that used to be close together just dont contact each other anymore.

Some of them have reasons like," I like you,and its wrong"

Some of them have reasons like, "I dislike you, cause you aren't strong"

Even the stupid reasons like, "I just don't feel like talking"

or even " Its cause you tore my favourite stockings"

There are no such thing as seasonal friends.

So just make up your mind.

So i'm planning for a trip to Phuket with Anton.

Hopefully all goes well it it happens.

I really really need a break from all this,

anyone else up for phuket?

Recently all i'm been hearing for practically everyday for the past week.

Is someone dying to me. It so happens they relate to me in one way or another.

Not in blood ties or such.

Its so scary, cause its as if god is reminding me.

"Don't forget, i still have the power of death on my side"

Everyone probably reaches a point where they mentally stall.

I've reached that point. And all i can do now is just wait.

I'm tired. I really am. But i cant afford to stop.

And no one's there to carry me.

All is lost

All kindness and love has left me.

All thats left is a bitter and cold hearted heart

I find it funny how, some people just write lovey dovey posts on every post.

Sometimes making so abstract to put themselves in a position where it seems they have a higher order thinking.

And its fine, to write about someone you love on every post. Its cute when you know they really love each other.

It gets annoyingly funny when the person keeps changing their crush/lover/date every two weeks or a month.

Its funny cause it proves you know nothing about love and that you've never experienced it.

All you do is take small little excerpts of love and make it seem like you do.

And its pathetic that the only emotion you can think of and write about is love.

Cause honestly there are more things in your life than love.

Stop being a pathetic moron and either find proper love or start getting better ideas.

Love isnt definable, but it sure as hell isn't how you describe it.

If Shakespeare looked at what you wrote about love, i'm sure he'd turn over in his own grave.

So like i said, get a life you moron.

                                                                                                _|_<------- my gift of love to you

Day 1 of attachment is over. And i already hate it.

Fuck la.

My grandmother is now under life support.

I'm so fucked up i dont know what i'm doing anymore.

I know no one will put up with me.

I'm affected cause my grandmother is one of the few people i care most in the world.

And probably the only person who really loved me

Its so weird how just one person is able to completely change you.

In my 18 years (almost) of living, there hasnt been one person to have changed me so drastically as you did.

Its funny and shocking and sad all at the same time.

Its funny cause you were the least likely person i thought would change me.

Its shocking cause you were unpredictable.

Its sad cause you were that one person i wanted to spend so much time with.

A day with you is enough to overcome a week of pain.

A month with you was enough to pull me through

Two years with you was enough to give me the best moments of my life,

Whoever's reading this probably is wondering why i'm writing all this.

I'm not a mushy guy.

I saying all this because it is how i feel. And i'm tired of hiding what i feel.

No matter what happened/happens, i never regretted or would regret

Not once,

Now arent these kind of memories worth fighting for?

Arent they worth getting hurt for?

I think so.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So last tuesday at cuscaden was awesome.

With the company of random people who havent really met each other,  save for a few of us.

It all actually came together.

With the darkness of the staircase covering us ( I sense a racist thought from you)

and with enough beer to make an indian or a russian drunk. ( Here it comes again)

And the laughter that warms even the coldest of hearts.

It was a nice night with friends.

And amid the turmoil thats been happening in my life.

I'd say it was a nice change.

''I wonder if we'll meet again
Talk about us instead
Talk about why did it end

Made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one''

 I still do love and care.

But i'm ready to burn myself to save myself.

Don't think i won't do it.

Cause i will.

There's no point in me being around

If you don't even treasure me.

And if you don't treasure me, you'd never fight for me.

So why ?

I need a breath of fresh air.

Or maybe just a new pack of ciggerettes.