phillygoboom

I cant feel anymore.

So i guess the next best thing i can do,

is to hope the next person i meet will make me feel again

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On a completely different note,

phillygoboom.tumblr.com

the reason why i've been to distracted to post on lj

I am not sad, he would repeat to himself over and over. I am not sad. As if he might one day convince himself. Or fool himself. Or convince others - the only thing worse than being sad is for others to know that you are sad. I am not sad. I am not sad. Because his life had unlimited potential for happiness, insofar as it was an empty white room. He would fall asleep with his heart at the foot of his bed, like some domesticated animal that was no part of him at all. And each morning he would wake with it again in the cupboard of his rib cage, having become a little heavier, a little weaker, but still pumping. And by midafternoon he was again overcome with he desire to be somewhere else, someone else, someone else somewhere else. I AM NOT SAD

I find strength in knowing you're happy.

I cannot move on if you aren't happy

so i've been slipping in and out if it.

bite me you fuckers

i've torn myself from everything.

Yet i still feel you

I still can't help but think

and think

think

thi.....

.......

Yesterday's clubbing outing was great.

I felt so alive.

But just before that, i realised something.

Being lonely sometimes is comforting

As you get older there comes a time when you’re not scared of the dark or of monsters anymore. You realize the dark is just the dark and monsters don’t exist. But it’s also when you become scared of other things, people themselves. You learn that not everyone wants to see you succeed. You become aware of people’s underlying intentions and selfish actions. And the monsters you used to check for under your bed at night don’t even compare to some of the things people do.

OMG JUST TWO PAPERS!! AND THEN I'M DONE! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAR!!!

Remember when I caught your eye
you gave me rainbows and butterflies
we did enjoy our happiness
when our love was over
I was such a mess

I smiled at you
and you smiled back
that's when I knew
there's no turning back
you said you loved me
and I did too
now though it's over
I still love you

you're in my mind
you're in my heart
I wish I knew right from the start
all my friends said you break my heart
A heartbreaker right from the start

I tried to fight it
I tried so hard
and every day
I pray to god
that you and me were meant to be
but you had another
you had a lover

And now is gone
I don't know why
I feel like crying
just want to die
I can't look at you
and you know why
no, I tried so hard
to catch your eye

you're in my mind
you're in my heart
I wish I knew right from the start
all my friends said you break my heart
A heartbreaker right from the start

you're in my mind
you're in my heart
I wish I knew right from the start
all my friends said you break my heart
A heartbreaker right from the start

Heartbreaker - MSTRKRFT

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Funny how one song can sum up everything.
But i realised what i have to do,
and i will become better.

Hello life.

I got a stone where my heart should be
I got a stone where my heart should be
And nothing I do will make you love me
Id leave this time, break all my ties
Be no more use for any disguise
Lies, lies, lies, ohh lies